Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon...

It's been a bit since I've posted, and although I'd like to tell you that my life is full of adventure and mayhem- all I can say is that it has been pretty quiet around here.


I have been thinking, (which can be dangerous for some people) about the relationships; specifically how people and the relationships they are in evolve.


Let me share this quote with you and tell me if it strikes a chord:


“Well it seems to me that the best relationships—the ones that last— are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is.. suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.”- Gillian Anderson


Now, I'm not sure if this is how real love happens, because I (believe it or not) still have yet to experience this.  I find that at some point, this does happen- but is it when it's too late? Has one person evolved before the other even understands the meaning of the word?


The recent Playboy article featuring John Mayer  gives a recap of this evolution to some effect, as he refers to his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, who is 8 years his senior.  


PLAYBOY: You said that song (Heartbreak Warfare) isn’t about Aniston. Why is it important for people to know that?
MAYER: I’m very protective of Jen.
PLAYBOY: Do you still love her?
MAYER: Yes, always. I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32.
PLAYBOY: Last June she was given an award from Women in Film. In her acceptance speech she pointed out that the titles of her films closely parallel her private life. Then she asked if anyone in the audience had “a project titled Everlasting Love With an Adult, Stable Male.” It seems as if she was referring to you.
MAYER: I imagine I’ve got something to do with that. Parts of me aren’t 32. My ability to go deep with somebody is old soul. My ability to commit and be faithful is old soul. But 32 just comes roaring out of me at points when I don’t see it coming. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.


PLAYBOY: The way you talk about being 32 sounds as though you were too immature for Aniston.
MAYER: No, the actual day-to-day was fantastic. I have to explain this so people don’t say, “Sure, you’re 32, and you want to fuck other chicks.” If you say I’m not adult and stable, it sounds as though I’m someone who’s watching football and playing Xbox. I have this bond with infinite possibility—when I go out to dinner, I bring another shirt, a flashlight, a knife, a hard drive, a camera. It’s not like I wanted to be with somebody else. I want to be with myself, still, and lie in bed only with the infinite unknown. That’s 32, man.


I've had three men, ok--FOUR men that I've truly loved.  One of them got away.  I deeply regret not noticing the signs like I should have.  It was a combination of not noticing, not accepting that it was the right "time" and not thinking I was worthy.  I was a fool.


If it's meant to happen, I guess that time really does sync correctly.  When TOTGA (the-one-that-got-away) finally wanted to settle down, he wasn't looking for a girl, but a woman.  


Could you have called me a woman at 25-26?  Was I similar in thought to JM by saying that, "I needed to be twenty-something" like he states, "I needed to be 32" ?  It was like all of these deeply rooted feelings, which were far beyond his years, were something he was faced with as the other person started their evolution.  Was it wrong not to feel the same?  Was it selfish to want to live his youth and be 32?


In a very weird way, I can identify with this coming of age dilemma. Perhaps I identify with it most because I feel as though I've come of age over the last 5 years. I've grown into my own skin.  I'm comfortable being a woman, not a girl (certainly, I was not the woman I am today...). The experiences I've encountered, I wouldn't change for the world, even though the circumstances surrounding them may piss me off.  


If I never had the time in my twenties to make mistakes, fall in quasi-love, and live in my own angst- I wouldn't be ready for what comes though the door next- or when I get the opportunity to see the person next to me a clearly as the quote describes above.  


There is a higher element of attraction now than there ever was in my twenties.  It has to do with experience; furthermore, confidence.  


Because once you have given yourself the room to live, then you know you have the will to do so.