Not only has there been innuendo, but there has also been discussions at length with friends, strangers and cynical individuals about love and sexuality. Maybe it's the winter that makes us feel so repressed that the onset of spring makes us feel liberated enough to talk about these topics. Who knows, but it definitely has given me enough material for my entry this evening.
Tonight while enjoying a few choice beverages at a local bar, I had the pleasure of meeting Jason. A thirty-something guy, still single- still looking who by all accounts looked average, healthy, sane. A teacher, who enjoys the perks and downfalls of that profession. All in all, a very nice guy who is still in search of someone.
So what's the problem? Well, come to find out that Jason has never had a real relationship with someone. You know, living together- for longer than 6 months, or the casual hook-up. He is the consumate bachelor. A ton of female friends, lots of "numbers in the book", but not a love in his heart to call his own.
Jason spends his time hanging with his "crew", meeting more ladies to put in "the book". He tends to leave just when things get too close, because, "it's just better that way...cleaner". He doesn't ever think he's going to settle down, even if secretly inside he really wants to.
"I just can't find the right one and if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with it." When did men become scared?
"I just can't find the right one and if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with it." When did men become scared?
Somehow, the mix of cocktails and good music allow Jason and I to connect. He feels comfortable enough to open up to me and give me the truth about his situation, which I find fascinating. As I'm coming out of my marriage, it's been a minute since I've been back in the dating game, so any interaction for my own "educational purposes" is a godsend.
Usually, for a thirty-something female, the pickings are... well picked through. You have a couple of choices: A- Has baggage, B-Has no baggage, but is younger than you, C- He has baggage, but they are all your age or D- He's Gay.
So, when you do meet a 35 year old single male, you begin to wonder just what the hell happened? Did he live with his parents? Was he a "late bloomer"? What's the catch?
This past Monday or Tuesday, after watching the "Today Show with Kathie Lee and Sharon Osborne" (if you haven't already noticed, I'm a fan of "Today"), they tacked a subject called the "Male Midlife Crisis". Brilliant! Perhaps they had it all figured out!
What was amazing for me to hear was the male apprehension to commit for lack of being able to provide? I'm not sure if that is as necessary since more and more women become successful in their own right, or provide for the family on their income alone. Instead of succumbing to the pressure of marriage or relationships, some men just choose to lay low for awhile- and in some cases, continue the practices that Jason mentions above. Anyhow, it was an interesting point of view from a male perspective. You can read the "Male Midlife Crisis" here.
Overall, the freedom we longed for. The independence from men, when some of us were very influenced by our mother's dependence on men... well, perhaps it's too much for the male psyche to bear, or it's ruined the delicate balance of relationships and growth.
So, when you do meet a 35 year old single male, you begin to wonder just what the hell happened? Did he live with his parents? Was he a "late bloomer"? What's the catch?
This past Monday or Tuesday, after watching the "Today Show with Kathie Lee and Sharon Osborne" (if you haven't already noticed, I'm a fan of "Today"), they tacked a subject called the "Male Midlife Crisis". Brilliant! Perhaps they had it all figured out!
What was amazing for me to hear was the male apprehension to commit for lack of being able to provide? I'm not sure if that is as necessary since more and more women become successful in their own right, or provide for the family on their income alone. Instead of succumbing to the pressure of marriage or relationships, some men just choose to lay low for awhile- and in some cases, continue the practices that Jason mentions above. Anyhow, it was an interesting point of view from a male perspective. You can read the "Male Midlife Crisis" here.
Overall, the freedom we longed for. The independence from men, when some of us were very influenced by our mother's dependence on men... well, perhaps it's too much for the male psyche to bear, or it's ruined the delicate balance of relationships and growth.
