Why I'm glad my twenties are over....

I decided that I was going to venture out today, with my laptop to my local Peet's and start writing.  My hope was to be inspired by seeing others around me.  This week has been a hard one, and I've had a really hard time putting things in perspective.

I love to people watch; the behavior of others truly fascinates me.  Figuring that it was a Saturday and all, I knew that I would be exposed to an eclectic cross section of people.

It was a good thirty minutes before anyone caught my attention.  Well, I suppose I should say that my eavesdropping probably led me to a conversation more than anything.  Two young men, having a conversation about girls.  Yes, I said GIRLS; not women.  The point of contention was around the one guy thinking about dating an older woman, while the friend was dating a younger girl.  How young?  Well, she could buy porn and vote- but couldn't enjoy a three olive martini in a bar, even if she wanted to.

To be honest, I was a little taken back that these two were talking openly and candidly concerning relationships.  It has been said that men actually do speak more about relationships than women,  sometimes feeling the need to brag or compare to another male for consensus or status.  Anyhow, it was like seeing something you only see in the wild being reenacted in front of my eyes.

As I continued to eavesdrop, with my nonfat caramel latte on my right and surfing the web for designer eyewear, one of the guys decided he was going to ask my opinion.

Since I couldn't say, "Hey, I've been listening to your conversation the entire time- so here is my POV..." I let him explain why he felt it was important to add an older woman to his dating "portfolio".

As much as I would like to flatter myself and say I don't look a day over twenty-five, he knew who he was talking to; a thirty-something female, sitting at a coffee shop with nothing better to do, listening to them.  This was the most action I had seen all week! Ha!

He went on to explain his side of the coin, about how older women are more sure of themselves... more experienced.  They know what they want and don't want.  He said there was this woman who he worked with who was in her thirties who looked like "she could teach him a few things...".

His friend asked him why he wanted "old goods" (and after he said that, he turned to me and said, "no offense..." uggh...), especially when there was that "other girl that keeps tellin' you she wants to hook up, you know the one that is really hot... the one that was dancing on the bar last weekend.. you know... so-and-so's friend...".

It was after that comment that I remembered why I'm glad my twenties are over.

Dancing on bars?  Yeah, that was reserved for my twenties.  Calling or paging (boy, that dates me!) at all hours of the night?  Yeah, that was my twenties too.  Acting STUPID just to get a guys attention to boost HIS ego?  Yep, that was my twenties too.  Having plenty of bad sex?  OH YEAH, my twenties was all about that.

But, in my thirties I realized that all of that bullshit that my twenties taught me, allowed me to fully understand just what kind of woman I was.  I'm not even sure when the transition happened.  Nonetheless- my needs, wants and desires became crystal clear in my thirties.  I know what good sex feels like, acts like and looks like.  I know that I don't have to act stupid to boost a man's ego so he can be attracted to me.  I can actually be SMART because my mind and point of view is more attractive.  I know that I'm hitting my peak, so someone better be able to keep up with me...

The quote of the night came from the guy who wanted to experience an older woman... "You know what they say, the older the berry- the sweeter the juice...."

Truthfully, at that point- I wasn't sure if I was creeped out or flattered.  So I decided to dive back into surfing the web.

You know, most of my relationships have been with men who have been older than me.  Some by many, many moons- some by just months or days.   All of them taught me something about myself.  Each of them added a little more "swagger" to my step.  And some of them, well frankly I wish we had never met.

I get the feeling of confidence you get from an "older" soul.  There is nothing like being with someone who knows what they want and has a goal.  I guess that's when you know you're ready for something isn't it?  When the size of your goals and ambitions become important-- not how quickly you can get into bed with "x" number of people.

But I do have to say, as an thirty-something female who is hitting her peak, that conversation gave me more confidence in the person I am today,  than any self help book could have given me.

Thank you Mr. Coffee Shop guy, and I hope you get your girl- or should I say, woman.