Sometimes, it just doesn't make sense.

I wake up in the morning and assume that every day will be a good day.  I'm not sure if this is just a learned behavior over the last thirty or so years of my life-- but I rarely wake up feeling like the day is against me from the start.

However, my cheery attitude as of late is being tested, as each and every day is another obstacle.  Nothing that can't be handled, but you have to wonder why you deal with some of it at all.

I found this tonight:

“Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For every obstacle there is a solution. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up.”-Unknown

The petty stuff is one thing, but the real stuff- the stuff you shake your head at and say "Why? No really, Why??" is what doesn't make sense.  For instance today's text message that a young man that I work with, twenty-two years old has suffered an aneurysm.  

Twenty- Two.  No one is immortal.

And those are the instances in life where I just want to scream at the sky and ask "Why???".  Why is this happening to someone who has so much life to live?  

I am not a religious person- although some might disagree with me because of a recent post titled, "Rest in Peace" where I quote a prayer often used in Catholic burials.  Yes, I was raised Catholic.  I went to church every Sunday until I was seventeen.  I have also heard that particular prayer more times than I can count.

Today I do not attend mass nearly as frequently.  I have a laundry list of "sins" that would surely forbid me from participating in church activities. Regardless of all that, I still find myself drawn to church to find my center.

This post is not intended to be about religion- but about the "Why".  

Why do things happen to good people?  

How does one thing make sense when something else doesn't?  

Sometimes, I just go to church to find resolution to my unanswered questions about life.  It's a quiet place when my world is too chaotic.  It allows me to have a one on one session with ME in order to sort out the animosity I could begin to feel if I didn't take a moment to sort recent events to a conclusion.

The recent instance I mentioned here about that young man, and other instances of life that have rang true over the last four weeks have FRIED me mentally.

I cannot remember another time where this many intense occurrences have happened at once.

The best advice I ever received was from my Grandma who always referred to her heart as her best intuition as to why things happen.  Not much may make sense at the time, but if the issue can be resolved in your heart- then the reasons behind in may show themselves with clarity.

Which leads me to a favorite quote- which my Grandma had hung in our kitchen.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." -Reinhold Niebuhr

My thoughts are with the family of J.P. at this time.  It may not make sense now, but someday may it be resolved in your heart.

Good night.